idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
