Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
