If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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