I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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