Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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