so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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