She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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