Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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