Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
