Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
