so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
