i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
