Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
love makes seman taste better
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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