Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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