im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
