I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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