These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
