If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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