I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
