I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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