Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
