I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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