They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
