I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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