come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
