i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Drunk is not a location!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
