p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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