I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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