I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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