Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm at about main and main street
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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