I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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