I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
