i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize