Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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