i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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