Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
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