i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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