have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize