...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
