I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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