put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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