I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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