WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
