HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
