When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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