So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
whose parrot is this?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
