Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
