i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
