The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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