you win again, gameday.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize