I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
