Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
