Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
