so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
