Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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