Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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