SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
