I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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