CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
