i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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