Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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