we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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