i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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