Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
