If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
