his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize